Romance scam warning signs

What the FTC says romance scammers do

The FTC's consumer advice on romance scams lists what scammers tend to say and ask for. The person soon wants to email, call, or message you away from the dating site or app where you met. They say it is true love but live far away, perhaps for a job abroad, on an oil rig, in the military, or with an international organization. That distance becomes the reason they cannot meet you in person.

Once they have your trust, they ask for money. The FTC names medical bills, travel to see you, visa costs, and fees to get out of trouble, and some offer to help you start investing in cryptocurrency. They also tell you how to pay: a wire through a service such as Western Union or MoneyGram, a money transfer app, cryptocurrency, or gift cards with the PIN codes sent to them. They want it paid right away, in a way that is hard to get back.

One check the FTC suggests is a reverse image search of the profile photo. If it appears under another name, or with details that do not match the story, the FTC says those are signs of a scam. Many real people work far away or prefer texting, so read these moves as a pattern that ends in a payment request. The sections below cover what to do when that request arrives.

How the contact turns into a request

A romance scam can begin in a dating app, on a social platform, or through an unexpected message. In the FTC's analysis of 2022 romance-scam loss reports that identified how the contact began, 40% named social media and 19% named a website or app. Those shares describe loss reports with that detail. They do not tell us what fraction of all dating-app conversations are scams, and they do not make an account safe because it started somewhere else.

The person may build a conversation before asking for anything. Then a problem appears that only your payment seems able to solve, such as a medical bill, a travel delay, a package fee, or access to an investment. The FTC documents these as stories used in reports, rather than signs that every person with a distant job or a real emergency is dishonest. The practical test is the money request and whether you can check its basis independently.

Moving the conversation from the original service to private messages can also make a report harder to assemble later. You do not have to decide whether every detail of a story is true before declining to pay. The FTC's consumer advice is direct: do not send money to someone you have not met in person. If the request comes from a person you have met, pause and check the request through a channel they do not supply before making a payment.

Which payment requests deserve a pause

Gift cards are a common request because the buyer can give the code to another person without meeting them. Among 2022 romance-scam loss reports to the FTC that specified a payment method, gift cards appeared most often, in 24%. That is a share of loss reports with payment information, not a share of all romance scams. It also does not mean gift cards accounted for the largest dollar loss. The FTC found that cryptocurrency and bank wires together made up more than 60% of the reported losses in that analysis.

A request to buy cryptocurrency, send a wire, or transfer funds to an unfamiliar account needs the same scrutiny as a gift-card request. The method can make recovery hard, but the deeper issue is that the relationship is being used to direct your money. A person may present an investment as a shared future or say a package will arrive once you pay a fee. Ask what independent institution could confirm the obligation. A screenshot, a link supplied by the person, and a message from a supposed colleague all remain inside the same story.

Do not pay a second fee to release an earlier payment or investment balance. If a payment is supposedly held by a real bank, shipping firm, or public office, find that organization's contact details yourself and ask about the claim. Never use only the phone number or web address in the message asking for money. The answer may still be incomplete, but an independent check can stop you from treating a fabricated document as proof.

Check the account without asking it to verify itself

Search the name and profile photo outside the conversation. A reverse image search may show the photo under another identity, although an image with no matches proves little. Search a distinctive part of the person's claimed job or story alongside the word 'scammer,' as the FTC recommends. If they claim to represent an organization, use the organization's public site to reach it. A convincing call or video chat shows that someone can speak with you; it cannot confirm an illness, package, investment, or bank account.

Bring the exact request to a person you trust. Say what amount is requested, how you are meant to pay, the deadline, and what evidence you have outside the messages. It is easier for someone else to notice that a delivery fee has no matching order or that an investment site has no independent contact path. You are asking for a second reading of the claim, not permission to keep talking to the person.

If you plan to meet someone from an app, use separate personal-safety steps. RAINN advises a public place and your own transport, and says you can report or block behavior that troubles you. These steps reduce some risks but cannot guarantee another person's conduct. Meeting in public also should not be treated as a test that validates a separate request for money.

A package-fee example

Imagine that a person you have been messaging says a package for you is stuck at customs. They send a tracking screenshot and ask you to wire $240 that evening. The amount and deadline are hypothetical. The FTC records package-related stories among romance-scam reports, so the structure is familiar: a claimed obstacle, a payment demand, and information supplied by the same person who wants the money.

You can separate the parts of the claim. Did you agree to receive a package? Is there a shipment number you can enter on a carrier site you found yourself? Does that carrier confirm a fee through its own support channel? If the person asks you to use a link they sent, that link is not an independent check. You can decline the payment while you verify. You do not owe a fee because someone says they already shipped something.

Suppose a carrier cannot confirm the shipment. Keep a record of the profile, request, payment instructions, and tracking claim. Report the account through the service where you met the person. If you already sent the wire, contact your bank at once and ask it to attempt a recall. The bank can explain whether a stop or recovery is possible; the example does not promise that the money will return.

If you have not paid

You can stop at the first request. Tell the person you will not send money, then end contact if the requests continue or the response becomes threatening. You do not need to complete an investigation or confront the account with your evidence. Before blocking, save the profile identifier and relevant messages if doing so is safe. A dated record helps a platform understand what happened and lets you report the request without reconstructing the conversation from memory.

Use the app's reporting path for the account and send a report to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. A report is useful even if you did not lose money: it records the approach and may help the platform or agency see a pattern. You may also tell the person whose photos appear to have been copied, when you can do so safely through an independently found account. Avoid forwarding private details widely or posting a public accusation based only on a name that could belong to someone else.

If you sent money or shared sensitive material

Contact the payment provider immediately. Tell it the payment method, amount, date, and destination, and ask what stop, dispute, recall, or refund path applies. The FTC gives different steps for cards, transfers, gift cards, payment apps, and cryptocurrency, so name the exact method when you call. Keep the case number and any follow-up instructions. Speed can matter, but a request for recovery is not a promise that a provider can reverse the payment.

Save the conversation and transaction records, then report the profile and file an FTC report. If you shared a password, change it through the account's official site and secure any account that reused it. If you gave someone access to a financial account, tell that institution directly. The important distinction is whether you only heard a story, sent money, or exposed an account: each needs a different response, and a generic 'be careful' message does not give you the next action.

Some romance-scam reports involve threats to share intimate images. Do not treat a new payment demand as proof the threat will stop. Preserve the messages, use the platform's safety report, and contact law enforcement or the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center if you are in the United States. The FTC's report also describes sextortion as one of the stories it received. If you are in immediate danger, seek local emergency help.

What these warning signs cannot establish

The FTC data come from reports people submitted. People who never reported a contact are outside that count, and the reports do not supply a reliable rate for every dating service or age group. A faraway address, a delayed meeting, or a new profile is not proof of fraud by itself. A money request tied to an unverifiable emergency is enough reason to stop paying and check through a source you choose.

It can feel awkward to question someone after weeks of conversation. You can still make a narrow decision today: send no new money, preserve the relevant record, contact the payment provider if you paid, and report the account. Those actions do not require you to prove the person's identity first. They give you a way to respond to the request you can actually see.