Removes 89% of people who meet every other filter.
9.3× larger without itQUESTION / NO MORAL JUDGMENT← Standards calculator
Are my dating standards too high?
Rarity is not morality.
THE ANSWER
The plain answer.
No number can decide that. This calculator shows how common your measurable filters are.
What this covers: Change one filter at a time. See how age, income, marital status, height, or BMI changes the estimated group. BMI means body mass index, a height-and-weight measure.
What this does not show: The calculator cannot measure safety, values, attraction, mutual interest, or compatibility.
Where the data comes from: The 2024 American Community Survey (ACS), a Census survey. Its Public Use Microdata Sample (PUMS) records show age, personal income, and marital status. Each record has a weight that helps it represent people in the full population. Height and body mass index (BMI) use measured data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and National Center for Health Statistics (CDC/NCHS). These traits are modeled, which means they are estimated from a separate data source.
EXAMPLE FILTERS · THE 6′ + $100,000 OR MORE EXAMPLE
Choose filters. See both estimates.
Ages 25–35 · not currently married · does not currently smoke. Change any filter to build your own estimate.
- 01ChooseSet your filters
- 02CompareSee men and women
- 03SaveKeep or share the result
Why this result?See what each filter changes
FILTERS WITH THE LARGEST CHANGE
Which filters change each estimate?
Remove one filter. Keep every other filter the same.
Exact details are available for one group.
We show filter effects only for a group with an exact point estimate. The other group stays marked as limited until its result supports an exact estimate.
This group has a height range instead of an exact estimate, so we do not compare its filter effects.
FILTERMEN REMOVEDWOMEN REMOVED
Personal incomeCENSUS DATA / COUNTED TOGETHER89%Limited
HeightESTIMATED FROM SEPARATE HEALTH DATA82%Limited
Not currently marriedCENSUS DATA / COUNTED TOGETHER55%Limited
Does not currently smokeESTIMATED FROM SEPARATE HEALTH DATA11%Limited
Each button changes one setting and updates both estimates. “Not currently married” stays on.
ONE-STEP CHANGEMENWOMENACTION
Lower height to 5′11″ or tallerChanges only heightADDS56%ADDSLimited
Remove the cigarette-use filterChanges only does not currently smokeADDS12%ADDSLimited
Lower income to $95,000 or moreChanges only personal incomeADDS10%ADDSLimited
—/ 250 RESPONSES
How did this result compare with what you expected?Tell us what you expected. Then answer 12 short questions for the 2026 study.
ABOUT 2 MIN · 3 STEPS · NO ACCOUNT OR EMAILNothing is sent until you agree on the last step.MORE DETAIL
How to read the answer.
High standards and rare standards differ
Some important standards—honesty, respect, and communication—are not measured here. The calculator only shows how uncommon demographic filters are. Do not use it as a complete measure of how demanding someone is.
Look for the filter doing the work
A combination can become rare when several ordinary preferences overlap. Open the data receipt. Relax one input at a time to see whether age, income, status, height, or BMI changes the group most.
Availability is not mutual compatibility
The estimate cannot observe attraction, orientation, geography below the state level, relationship goals, or whether someone who meets the filters would choose you. These missing conditions usually make the real compatible group smaller and more clustered in real life.
COMMON QUESTIONS
What percentage means my standards are too high?
There is no objective cutoff. The tool uses simple rarity labels for context. You decide whether a selective group fits your priorities, patience, location, and willingness to compromise.
Should I lower my dating standards?
A demographic result cannot make that decision. It may help you separate non-negotiable values from less important filters. It should not pressure anyone to accept an unsafe or incompatible relationship.
Why might real life feel different from the percentage?
Dating is not random sampling. People meet through neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, communities, and apps that bring some traits together. Your social network can differ a lot from a national or state distribution.
MORE ABOUT DATING STANDARDS AND POOL SIZE
Start with the pool. Then test each standard.
These pages explain the calculator, the words used for it, and the difference between rarity and relationship fit.